Sunday, October 7, 2012

Cosplay Mania 2012 and TorCH III + Feels

^Now to the sappy, mushy and feels packed post.
If you thought my first two posts was already full, no, I've been holding back. mwhehehehe

This post will have a lot of feelings of gratitude I want to express. What I say here will be nothing but the truth. I will open my heart and hope that you would not think too badly of me for feeling the way that I did.

The fellowship dinner to which I was late even though I left very early. Friday and stuck in traffic oTL
I left home at 3pm and arrived at 7pm! WTJ, what the jigoku man! What the jigoku!
My life is wasted away on the road...

First of all, I just want to say, I am ok now.
Yes, honestly, I am fine now, physically and emotionally.
My dearest friends, I am sorry for worrying you, I just needed time to let it out and after doing so, I am now good as new.
Thank you for being there and trying your bestest to cheer me up, what I felt is something hard to explain, it's something I have to deal with myself.

The reason why I have not gotten online for the past few days is mainly because... well...
1. I just took the time to rest
2. am really just that unenthusiastic about my online life
3. every time I see my friends and people congratulating me and saying things like I did well, I could not help but cry...

Silly, I know...
It just feels like, I failed the people who went to such great lengths to help and support me and Bram that I felt ashamed...
I mean, I bothered a hell lot of friends and asked for favors to get things done. At some points I felt like I asked too much already and got on some of my friends' toes...
If I could do it all myself, I would but I couldn't. I hate bothering my friends and I felt like I bothered all those dear people and their hard work just got wasted...

Yes, I know, I have petty concerns gaaaaaaaaa

Please let me also clarify that I am not angry at anyone.
I do not harbor any hate for any particular person.
I do not hate Marko or Dom or anyone involved in this year's Tournament of Champions.
I believe that all the champions did their best and gave their all.
How could you hate people with such burning passion?
All the teams gave an astounding show, each team wouldn't be a champion if they were anything else but.

When it was announced that M.A.R.C.H. Harue was the 1st Runner Up and Adventure Team was the Grand Champion, I genuinely felt happy for Dom and Marko. They are good friends of ours and we wouldn't make it to the finals if it weren't for them. Our teams were really that connected, we helped them and they helped us. I felt like they were a part of my team only they weren't. They were my brothers from another mother.

But come Tuesday, after a good long sleep in my own bed, I woke up and felt all the body pains and I felt sadness...
Again, I am NOT angry nor do I hate anyone.
I just felt like my heart was broken.
Mmmmmm... how do I explain this?
Hmmmmmm... You know how we sometimes make a wishlist?
We put all the things we want to get on that list, sometimes it is a long list, sometimes it is short. But no matter how long or short that list is, we put the things that we think will make us contented, no matter how outrageous. There is always that one big ticket thing on the list that you really really want and it doesn't matter if you don't get the others as long as you get that one thing, it would be ok.
It's like that one thing > than the rest. That was how I felt about TorCH.
So I cried and the tears just wouldn't stop.
I thought about the friends that helped us, Zhel, Bram and a lot more.
It was so hard to fight back the tears especially since I was at home alone.

Celebrating the end of another happy moment, Cosplay Mania 2012 closes.

I guess... I just love this hobby so much that I wanted to have the chance to contribute something to it.
I mean come on, the glory is not bad and I wouldn't say no to it but just to have the opportunity to carry the name of your country and do what you love is simply priceless.
I wish I could have that chance... To be able to bring pride to the Philippines, make those who share the same passion proud. I would really love so dearly to have that chance...
Though I do take comfort in the fact that the Adventure Team will not disappoint. :)

Whew! Letting that out really lightened the load. /sigh of relief

To my dear Zhel, I am so sorry. I wasn't able to fulfill my end of the promise NOW, but I know someday, I would be able to. I just hope that you'd still be there to stand by me when that time comes. I will not give up, that I assure you. We will be friends thru thick and thin, no matter where we are.
Thank you for coming out of Davao just to support me. Seeing you always motivates me, thank you for coming. I think, if you weren't there, I would be hell nervous and forget everything. You were one of the people that made me feel ready to inspire people.

One of the people I was so fortunate to meet thru cosplay. Zhel, a good person I am lucky to call my friend.

Dear z3LL, goodness I owe you so much! Like literally and in a financial way XD I wouldn't have survived with out the help you gave, I promise to pay you back soon. I am amazed at how well you handled my tantrums and raging, I'm sorry if you always got the bitter end but thank you so much for being patient when I wasn't. Thank you for encouraging me and sticking around ♥

Sweet Mama Ricah, please know that I highly value you. Yeah, we haven't known each other very long but you are just one of those people that I really connected with, please don't ever feel that you are not needed. Thank you for being there and coming back. When you disappeared, I started to panic! Thank you for always being there. I love having you around.

Brothers Dom and Marko. I can not thank you both enough! You both were full support starting from Bacoor leg all the way to the end! All those late night slacking errr training and bonding times, those Mr. Liempo dinners, this whole journey wouldn't be as much fun without you guys.
I'm sorry for feeling the way I did, but please know that I never had any ill feelings towards you. Everything was more of a personal disappointment.
I'm not asking for much, I know you both will give a show that will make us all proud, I wish I could go and be your saikang like you did for me and Bram but funds. oTL But please, show the world that the Philippines is a force to be reckoned with, take care both of you and have fun! You both will be great! I just know it!

Precious Katkat! Thank you thank you thank you! To you and Allen! Your skills are just so awesome, I don't know what we would have done with you. Your inputs and hard work are very much appreciated, thank you for letting us into your home and letting me rampage around your room. I hope the Alpacca is behaving well. I cry tears for all the help, you even went the extra mile! That last minute help with the vid really saved us and the help back stage with retouching our make up. Thank you.

Allen and Kat, our sound experts ♥

Silver, oh my oh my, thank you for lending your voice to my Ginchiyo. We shared a lot of laughs and I do believe this was the most time we spent together, thank you for helping out. I'm sorry for making you travel and tired. Thank you so much, we always recorded very early so as to not get in the way of your work. Thank you for making time for us.

Vin, hehehehe Oh you bishie cool sempai, you. Many many thanks for the effort. Never knew how cool your voice can be hehehehe You have yaoi seiyu potential in you hehehe *winks at katkat and silver XDDD*

Melo, Sammy, Jin, ehrmergad, you guys! The company was very much appreciated, the push you gave us helped a lot. Those bonding times during the cold rainy nights are good memories. The laughs we shared will always make me smile. Thank you for reminding and making us eat when we would neglect to. I love you guys.

Ku ri, baby cakes. Am really really really really truly very sorry for stressing you out oTL
We have learned our lesson, get things done early and story board XD Thank you so much! I do hope you still love me! Lemme make it up to you, shoot? What do you want? I swear I'll do my best >_<
Thank you so so much! /glomps my favorite tsuntsun

Cless, Mr. Videography major! Please don't take too long in sleeping, please. But really, dude, thanks for appearing and helping out. Missed how you are always happy and carefree.

Taki and Beloy! Both of you! gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Thank you for coming to our aid on such short notice. Thank you, you guys showed what Bram has been saying what real camaraderie is. Thank you. That save on the head and all the assists... Thank you! Taki, ayusin na natin yang Kiva mo! hehehehe

Eunice, my make up wizard bebe. With out yer awesome skillz, me and Bram wouldn't look so nice. Definitely happy that I got a new good friend out of all this, I look forward to making the friendship blossom. Your pep talks and staying up when ever we did, was such a comfort. Thank you

Yep, I fan girl over the bishification. hehehehe

The Johns! Bacon and Gaisano (I still hate you, but only a little bit XD my precious Zhel... we can always share hehehe nah, I kid, I love you and Zhel and the hurricane hehehe) Thank you for the inputs, dear fans of Samurai Warriors also, your encouragements contributed to these cosplays of our which I now consider by far my best work. Thank you.

Lyron, some people may think you are a douche, but you are still you and I do think there is something good in you, otherwise, I won't bother being friends with you. Thank you for being a friend to me and Bram. Those tips in our skit and that late night coaching, helped a lot. Thanks, man.

Kosmo, Vio, Jesuke, Nik wasn't expecting you guys to be back so soon!
hahahahaha Thank you for coming and making Cosplay Mania even better!
I would have so liked to have spent more time with you guys but we were terribly busy orz
Vic, dear, it was nice to meet you, sorry for being like a creepy stalker XD I just see your very nice cosplays a lot because of Jess and Vio.
Ahhhh... I feel sad, I wish I can go to SG this year again but alas... I am low on funds... Want to eat chicken rice and glomp Saku and see Ami again and be with Christy and and just go crazy with everyone. T_T

Sorry Jess and Shoti, just cant help photo bombing sometimes XDDD

Raisa, epic god mode Raisa. Thank you for coming with us to do the video shoot, being a cheerer and documenting my Ginchiyo Tachibana cosplay. I foam at the mouth due to the amazingness of said pics.

Alfred... SQUISH!!! and more SQUISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH! Hahahahaha I hope that sums it up XDD But just to make sure, here's another one, SQUISSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!

Betits and Hady and to all those who helped and was part of our video, woot! Artista na kayo! hehehehe Thanks for wearing them armors and helping make our video better. That video took so long and only appeared for a few seconds but still, thank you!

My cherished Jeyel and Kyo, thank you for lending me another costume and staying to help fix the wig and everything else, you two are such life savers. Thank you for being there and supporting us all the way T_T
I love you both ♥

Andre, Peps, and Mattchu, the men of Ground Zero. Yes, ground zero, thank you for helping me out with my commissions, the help was really great since you guys gave me a hand, I was able to have more time for TorCH. Next year, guys, next year! Thank you very much for welcoming me as a dude. BUT mattchu, you still owe me! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

M.A.R.C.H., more of you guys join next year! Thank you for supporting me, Bram and Marko in this.

Annoying peeps, what can I say? You bunch of fabulous people you, I am still astonished as to how a small group of people can make that much noise. hehehehe You guys are just off the hook, I hope that we continue to not only grow in number but to have better and stronger ties. I am very fortunate to have found you guys. I wouldn't be cosplaying for this long if it weren't for you guys. I hope others can see how much of a family we are and they can have what we have, too. Cosplay is indeed wonderful because it has bonded us all together. ♥ Thank you

Fellow champions, my beloveds! Best of the Best, baby! Woot woot!
We may all be back in our respective areas, but TorCH III is something that will all bind us together. Thank you for bringing your A-games, I know that this year is special because we all did our best. I would like to think that we all inspired a lot of people that night. Cheers to making this friendship blossom!

TorCH III Champions : The Best of the Best heheheh or so they say XD

Sir Guy and CosPH, this event is definitely the most stressful by far! BUT because it made all of us work hard, all the efforts made this more memorable and meaningful. Thank you for giving us another good memory through Cosplay Mania.

Some suggestions, if you please, we would greatly appreciate if all the champions, those from Manila (SM North, SM Manila and Bacoor) would have hotel rooms, too as we'd also like to bond with our fellow competitors. The hotel accommodations would be a great help in building camaraderie and it would be easier for the organizers to get a hold of everyone. Although we are from Manila, SMX is not very accessible if you live far or have huge and numerous items to lug around. If hotel accommodations aren't possible, maybe help with transportation would be more feasible?

A more detailed briefing of the competition proper would also be very helpful. We were all waiting for the costume inspection which only happened after everyone performed onstage, we were told it was going to happen before... =(

Getting to meet the guests in a proper way (ninja style is cool, too but a proper introductions would be better) would also be a great way to boost everyone's morale.

Lastly, this may be asking too much but hopefully, next time, the champions and runner ups can also get a little token to commemorate everyone's hard work? Doesn't need to be big or flashy, just a little something to  officially remember the competition. Like a certificate or a small award one can put on a shelf or hang on the wall. Everyone put tears, blood and sweat in to this competition and a little something for us to take home and show off would be highly welcomed. :3

Now, to my cherished partner, Bram.
Ah... Thank you. I have learned so much. I have long abandoned attempting cosplaying characaters that weren't fabric dominant, but ever since I met you, you taught me a lot of things, without you and M.A.R.C.H. I don't think I'd be standing on stage as a TorCH Champion and now, wow, I have some rubber crafting skills! Not a master but not bad either! Thank you for sharing what you know and trusting me enough to be your friend. Funny how last year I was terrified of you and I thought you were the suplado type. heheheh I think we make a pretty good team (I just hope you'd listen to me more, though, kinda hurts when you don't as it makes me feel substandard and inferior. Yeah horrible thoughts. Sorry) We were a good balance, you had qualities and skills I lacked and vice versa. Your never give up attitude really affected me, I like how head strong you are when it comes to getting things done. You are a good person, Bram, I am honored to have been your partner for this. And what have I been telling you? You sir, have potential! Trust the mama-san! Those apple cheeks and churo eyebrows are proof! hehehehe
Seriously, though, it was a joy to be with you in M.A.R.C.H. Harue, if ever you are still up for it, I hope you would still consider me a partner next time around. Thank you very much.

My family, I have such a supportive one. I was force fed a lot of time whilst making the costumes and they always supported me in this hobby, even going as far as trying to help me make our costumes and wanting to go to the event. Thank you dearest Minami, my Mom, aunts, uncle and cousin Luis.

My new friends outside Manila and those I saw a again this year, gaaaaaaaaaaaaa more craziness next time!
Shoti, we still dun has a shoot together and me socks! Me socks! hahahaha
I look forward to seeing you all again, I miss you guys! Why is the Philippines so big with lots of islands?! But we will all be together again, yes? :D

The day after event lunch in Little Tokyo~

Many thanks to Oujihimeshoppe for being such an accommodating shop to me and helping me with my Tachibana wig. I was already very stressed with the prepping and their warm way of receiving clients lightened my load. Thank you Ouji and Hime!

To everyone, thank you very much for all the help and support. Everyone's love, cheers and blessings really energized Team M.A.R.C.H. Harue!
To all those from Bacoor and Cavite, I hope we made you guys proud, it was an honor to be your champion.

Oh and that thing that happened that made me really glad?
Well, rehearsals on day2 was held really early in SMX. As early as 9am, there were people outside lined up already. That morning, I went to SMX's front stoop to meet z3LL who had our video. As I was waiting, I heard people talking about their bets for TorCH. I heard some say that we, M.A.R.C.H. Harue were their bets. Complete strangers, cheering for us. Wow. That made my heart swell and me happy, so happy, it energize me. Thank you to those people. ^___________^

Thank you for giving us the chance to be part of this spectacular event.
I can not thank people enough, I really hope that all you blessed people do not get tired of helping us out. Many many thanks everyone! This feelings of gratitude are sincere, thank you. I do hope I can find a way to better thank everyone and make it up to all those who exerted time an effort in helping us in our dreams.
For now, I hope my, our thanks are enough. I am sorry if what I've been saying are too cliched though, but really, thank you.

Sure is sad that I don't have as much photos to remember this by, sorry for grabbing off the net but I did try to credit all the respective sources XDDD

♥ ♥ ♥ I hug you all! /hugs

Otaku Conyo shall live on DESU! Like To-tah-leh! XDDD heheheh

thanks for reading!
 jaa! visit me again, ne!
     arigatou! (*^3^)/~


  1. Speechless ...
    I wish I could've been there just to watch at least... but I've been darn busy. >.<

    Still, I know you did your best. It's a contest and it's good our friends also won. We'll all be happy for you and Bram and Dom and Marko. :)

    Love yah Yuu! Miss you. We'll meet again. :)

  2. diamonds dont become the way they are unless they feel SOOOO much pressure~ this is a process for you, yuu~ and one day, you're going to come out a diamond :)

    congrats for winning 1st runner up and i hope you have more victories and fun experiences in the future!~


  3. <3 I honestly wish I could have done more to help but you guys did a mighty fine job and to a lot of us, you're still champions!

    am so glad that I got spend time with you and the others after the event, somehow I felt that was the only contribution I could give you for moral/emotional support!

    we have to do an SW sasshin shoot!

  4. Awwww ; A; -big hugs- we wish we got to hang out during Cosmania but its okay

  5. team MARCH HARUE rules!
    nonetheless yuu sempai and sir bram you were both epic in the torch finals i was screaming my lungs out the whole time for me your the champs ^_^
    also because of your performance it gave me inspiration to try my luck to join for next year

    anyways again congrats to team march harue.

  6. ahahahaha you funny ball of emotions you :P another SQUISH for good measure XD

    In terms of cosplay I don't really have anything to contribute for you guys but I'm glad what small things I can do for my friend was appreciated and helped you get by this 'interesting' point in you life ^_^ if ever you do compete in this grand scale again, I shall support you with the usual squishes and an improved skill set in photography. also, sorry I couldn't contribute to the Annoying cheering squad, everybody just suddenly ran off and I got awarded with bag guard duty by default hahahahaha.

  7. :) both of you were fantastic out there and being an assistant is the least that I can do. . It's really inspiring to see both of you working on your skit and costumes. if you ever need any last minute help again just inform me.


  8. All is well that end well.. you have always kept that positive vibe! Again, no words can express how proud we are still of you! *hugs*

  9. Le Cries T_T I feel you... so much T_T and like you said, you really did great! I don't really watch these but I'm glad this was one of the rare occasions I did and I really loved it! :)

  10. Oh gawd SO PROUD OF YOU~~~


    Job well done! Congrats on winning 1st Runner up!